Love: defined Biblically
What is love?
For the past 2 weeks we have been talking about love. We saw that LOVE is the greatest commandment. We saw that LOVE is the defining mark of a disciple of Jesus. But what exactly is LOVE? How do you define love? That is what we are seeking to do this morning.
We live in a society that is obsessed with the idea of love.
- Love is the topic of poems, quizzes in teen magazines and songs.
- Love is an integral part of the plot in soap operas, romance novels, and movies.
Our culture presents love as being that which we are all searching for that will ultimately make us happy because after all the goal in life is personal happiness and love is a means by which we can accomplish this.
Thus, many define love as a sensation that magically generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. This person will create in me a magical sensation. They will make me feel better – they will make me happy. The focus is self.
Is that love? Is love all about me and what will make me happy? Is love summed up in the idea of selfishness?
Is that what the Scriptures teach? I would argue that the Scriptures teach just the opposite.
Turn with me to 1 Cor 13.
The context of our passage here is this: Paul is writing to a church that has been abusing spiritual gifts. These gifts have become a point of contention between people. They are seeing certain gifts and abilities as being more important than others and there is therefore disorder in the church. Paul is addressing those issues and showing the importance of every single individual in the corporate body of Christ. He says they all have different gifts. They all serve different purposes. They are all important and work together for the common good. But they were bickering over the idea of excellence. Which gift is the most excellent?
At the end of chapter 12, Paul says “and now I will show you the most excellent way.” In the midst of a discussion of spiritual gifts and which one was the greatest, he says and now I will show you the most excellent way and then for an entire chapter has a discourse on love.
1 Cor 13:1-13 1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Paul is showing that while the gifts of the spirit are great in the process of bringing the infant church to maturity and adding validity to her message in the face of disbelief and opposition, the most excellent way is LOVE.
The 4 points I see Paul making here are:
- Without love, little else matters.
- Biblical love is selflessness.
- While the gifts cease, love remains.
- Love is the greatest of virtues.
Paul’s first order of business is to show that without love, little else matters.
VERSE 1 1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. Paul says if I can speak in other languages as the Spirit has enabled, but if I don’t have love it’s only noise. What I’m saying doesn’t even matter. The ability to speak in other languages supernaturally doesn’t even matter if I’m not loving. Without love, little else matters.
VERSE 2 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I can foretell events and speak forth on behalf of God supernaturally but don’t love, I am nothing. If I have all kinds of knowledge and have an amazing understanding of the mysteries of God, but don’t love, I am nothing. I have heard it said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” How that rings true. Paul says, I can have all kinds of knowledge, but if I don’t love, I am nothing. If I have an amazing amount of faith, the kind that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. Without love, little else matters.
VERSE 3 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. If I am the kind of person that has an ability to go without and thus I give away all my possessions and even surrender my body to be burned, but don’t have love, I gain nothing. It’s all worthless if I don’t have love. Without love, little else matters.
That is Paul’s point in the first 3 verses: without love, little else matters. That precept holds so true for us today. We can be the most knowledgeable church in the world on the things of God, but if we don’t love, what does it matter? We can be the most serving church in the world, but if we don’t serve out of love, what does it matter? If our goal in serving is to display our piety or self-righteousness what good is that? Our motive in serving needs to be love. Our knowledge must be coupled with love. If we don’t have love, we are nothing. Without love, little else matters.
Now, in the next few verses, Paul defines love.
Biblical love is the desire and pursuit of the ultimate good of others.
Biblical love is often setting aside self for the sake of others.
Summarized in one word Biblical love is selflessness.
VERSE 4 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Love is patient. Patience simply defined is the ability to wait until later for what we want now. We have the tendency to want something and want it now. Often times that which stands between us and getting what we want when we want it is other people. Biblical love is patient. To love others biblically, we wait until later for them to grant us what we want now.
Phrases like, “Hurry up already!” are foreign to biblical love. To speak the language of biblical love, one might say or think, “I will gladly wait longer.” Though I want something now, I will wait, patiently. Biblical love is patient. Patience by nature is a practice of selflessness as it sets aside self for the sake of others.
Those characterized by biblical love will have the ability to wait on others without making them feel bad or feel rushed. Biblical love is patient.
That means that when I’m at HEB an hour before the UT game and all I’m grabbing is 2 cases of soda and the line is ridiculous and the old lady at the front doesn’t know how to use the pin pad at the checkout, I don’t sigh, I don’t roll my eyes, I don’t mutter something under my breath. Biblical love is patient. Patience by nature is an act that is gracious toward others. Biblical love is selfless.
Love is kind. Kind means having a friendly or generous nature or attitude; helpful to others, considerate, benevolent, humane, pleasant, agreeable, beneficial, not harmful. You get the picture. Kindness is selfless; it focuses on the well-being of others. It is friendly toward others. It is generous toward others. Helpful to others. Benevolent, humane, pleasant toward others. Biblical love is kind. Kindness is focused on others, not self. Biblical love is selfless.
Love does not envy. Envy is spite and resentment at seeing the success of another or a desire to have something that is possessed by another. Envy says you have something I want. Hear how selfish that sounds? At the core of envy is selfishness and love is not selfish. Biblical love does not envy. Biblical love is the desire and pursuit of the ultimate good of others.
Biblical love rejoices to see others succeed. Biblical love rejoices to see others obtain nice possessions. Love seeks the ultimate good of others, not self. Biblical love is selfless.
It does not boast. To boast is to exalt self. Boasting is selfish and love is not selfish. Therefore, Biblical love does not include boasting. Love looks out for others, not self. One who loves biblically doesn’t speak highly of himself or herself; one who loves biblically speaks highly of others. Biblical love is selflessness.
It is not proud. Pride is a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. (Pride is simply when one’s self-esteem is too high) Pride is ultimately selfishness. The essence of pride is one’s own dignity and importance. It says look at me and how awesome I am. Pride exalts self. Love seeks the ultimate good of others, not self. Biblical love is selfless. Biblical love is not proud.
VERSE 5 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
It is not rude. Rudeness is simply rough or harsh in manner. It is insulting, uncivil, discourteous or impolite. Rudeness has to do with how you treat others. Rudeness is selfish. It’s refusing to exert the extra effort to be pleasant to others.
Positively stated, love is civil, courteous, polite. Or as verse 4 stated, love is kind. Biblical love treats others well because Biblical love is concerned with the well being of others. Biblical love is not selfish. Those who operate in Biblical love operate self-lessly. They treat others courteously. They treat others politely. Biblical love is not rude. Biblical love is selfless.
Love is not self-seeking. This alone, I think sums up Biblical love. Not to get too repetitive, but the bible defines love as not self seeking, but others-seeking. Biblical love seeks the well being of others. Love, defined biblically is selflessness.
Love is not easily angered. I think this goes hand in hand with patience, which we spoke of earlier. Anger is the result of blocked goals. When people block our goals it is easy to be angry with them. When we are trying to get somewhere in the car and someone drives slow in front of us or pulls out in front of us, we can have a tendency of getting angry.
When I’m trying to read or study or even play Catan and my kids interrupt those things, that is blocking my goal. If I am operating in Biblical love I won’t be easily angered at those interruptions. Love is not easily angered. Biblical love sets aside ones own agenda and is concerned with the well being of others. Therefore, it is not easily angered when goals are blocked. Love, defined biblically is selflessness.
Love keeps no record of wrongs. In Christ, God has removed the record of debt that stands against believers. Believers are not under condemnation as God has removed those wrongs. Scripture says that under the new covenant God would remember the sins of His people no more, but remove them from people as far as the east is from the west. Now does that mean that God doesn’t have the ability to remember sin? No, God doesn’t forget. He just doesn’t hold it against us. While he can remember our sins, and thus has a record of them, He does not refer to that record to hold against us. He has forgiven us for them and we are free from accusation and under his grace – undeserved mercy.
Biblical love keeps no record of wrongs. Though our minds can recall certain things that people have done wrong to us, we shouldn’t tally those up and keep a record on hand to hold against people and accuse them. We should grant them mercy as God has granted us. If by God’s love, we have been forgiven for the great record of debt, how much more should we forgive others for the record of debt that is infinitely smaller by comparison?
Love keeps no record of the wrongs of others to hold against them because love is not looking out for self, but others. Love seeks the well being of others. Love does not look to plead his or her case and win arguments and fights and have the upper hand. Those who speak the language of Biblical love know not words such as “well you forgot to do this or that” and “I remember the time when you did such and such.” Love keeps no record of wrongs because biblical love is seeking the well-being of others. Biblical love seeks to defend others not offend them. Love defined Biblically is selflessness.
VERSE 6 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love does not delight in evil. If you love somebody, you will not draw them into that which is evil, but lead them into the truth. We believe that the truth is good for us. We believe that evil is not good for us. If we love others, we will enjoy the truth with them. Love is looking out for the well being of others and guiding them away from evil and into truth. Love is seeking the ultimate good of another. I think we see that embodied here. It is seeking the ultimate good of another to rejoice with the truth rather than delighting in evil.
It would not be loving for me to say, “Hey fellas, let’s go downtown get drunk and hit on women who we’re not married to.” It’s not loving to delight in evil. However, it would be loving for me to say, “Hey fellas, let’s spend some time in the word. Let’s hold one another accountable.”
That would be seeking the ultimate good of others. That’s biblical love.
VERSE 7 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Biblical love trusts, it hopes it perseveres. It remains steadfast in the face of unpleasant circumstances. Biblical love is the desire and pursuit of the ultimate good of another. Biblical love is selfless.
NOW, OUR NEXT SECTION, VERSES 8 – 12 have been the source of much debate and differing of interpretation. It is not my goal to unpack all of the different ideas there are behind this portion of the text. I think that will be a distraction from our goal, which is to define love biblically. I say we don’t let what we don’t know rob us of what we do know.
What WE DO KNOW is that Paul is speaking on love as the most excellent way in the midst of a discussion about spiritual gifts. And we do know that Paul is saying that those miraculous gifts will pass away. That much is clear. The debate is typically over when they would pass away. The point he is trying to make and the point I want to drive home is this: while those miraculous gifts will pass away, love will not; love remains.
And of all the virtues, love is the greatest.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Again, while those miraculous gifts will pass away and fail, and cease, love will not. Love remains. And of all the virtues, love is the greatest.
In summary…
Society defines love for us in a way that seems to indicate that love is all about me and my happiness. We grow up thinking that love is all about me.
However, the Bible defines love as quite the opposite. The Bible defines love as the desire and pursuit of the well being of others. In a single word, biblical love is selflessness.
Those characterized by biblical love are patient, kind, not envious, not boastful or proud or rude or self-seeking. They are not easily angered. They keep no record of wrongs. They don’t delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. They always protect, trust, hope, and persevere. Those characterized by biblical love set aside self and focus on the ultimate good of others because biblical love is not selfish.
Without love, little else matters. Speaking in other languages, prophecy, knowledge, faith to move mountains, all of it is worthless without love. If I can do all those things or any of those things but don’t have love, I am nothing, Paul says. Without love, little else matters.
Paul says those miraculous gifts will eventually pass away, but love will remain and love is the greatest of virtues.
Let us be characterized by love, the greatest of virtues.
After all, it is the defining mark of a Christian. It is the greatest commandment. It is that upon which hang the law and the prophets.
LOVE. Let us be characterized by biblical love.
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