part
5 - empowerment
Two weeks ago I set before you four principles which
are essential in taking our relationships from hurting to healthy, from
stagnant and dying to dynamic and maturing.
Those four elements or principles are unconditional
love, grace, empowerment, and intimacy.
To the degree that these elements are present our relationships will be
dynamic and maturing. To the degree that
these elements are absent, our relationships will be stagnant and dying.
We started looking at these principles one by one
beginning with unconditional love. Last
week, we camped out on grace and this morning we will move into
empowerment.
In this context, power means the
ability to influence others. We
all have some ability to influence those with whom we have relationships. While
I will be using very family-oriented language, that doesn’t mean that the
principle of empowerment is consigned strictly to the home, but relevant to all
of our relationships whether spouse, boyfriend, or friend.
At some point each of us will likely find ourselves in
a position in which we are the most powerful person in the room. When my kids are playing together upstairs,
the most powerful person in the room is Anika, the oldest. She’s the most powerful person in the room
until mommy walks in. So this principle
doesn’t apply strictly to parents and not children, strictly to teachers and
not students, strictly to CEO’s and not to everyday workers who punch a
clock. This applies to all of us because
at some point, in a relational setting you will be a person with power.
The question is: what will you do with that power? When we have power, will we use that power to
lord our position over others, to coerce, control and manipulate others or will
we use our power to empower others by serving them, equipping them, edifying
them and encouraging them?
We have entitled this series radical relationships because
we are seeking to have relationships that are radically different from the norm
of the culture. By and large
relationships in our culture are characterized by people using their power for
selfish gain rather than to empower others.
As we observe relationships in the culture, we tend to
see people using their power to control others, to coerce others, to manipulate
others, to force others to do certain things or to behave a certain way.
We tend to see people using their power to decrease the
power of others in attempt to maintain their own more powerful position.
People try to one-up the next person. A child gets a new toy and is extremely
excited about it and when he goes to his friend’s house to rejoice he says, “Look, Sam, I
got the Han Solo action figure.” Sam
says, “Big
whoop, says Sam. I got Han Solo,
Chewbacca and the Millenium Falcon. I
have the upper hand here. I have the
bigger, better, cooler toys and if you want to play, you’ll have to come to my
house.” That sounds childish and
immature, but it carries into adulthood.
Adults one-up others, displaying their superiority with their cars,
boats, homes, condos on the beach. The
toys simply take on a new form, but the idea is the same. Ahhh…I have one upped you and I have the upper
hand, I have power.
Relationships in the culture are characterized by
people using power to keep others dependent.
We see this in work relationships.
There’s the guy who knows everything at the office. But when someone needs help he won’t train
other people how to do what he does because he just moves them aside and does
it, because if he’s the only guy who can do it, he has power over his coworkers,
a position of superiority. He has power
and he uses his it to keep others dependent.
They need me. They wouldn’t fire
me.
We see this in marriage. A man won’t let his wife have the credit
card. I’ll display my power in this
relationship by making her come to me and ask permission. To counteract his move in this power
struggle, she may say I won’t have sex with him. I will coerce or manipulate him to do what I
want him to do and use this act of denial as a means to display my power in
this relationship. I will show that I
have the upper hand.
In our culture, relationships are characterized by
antagonizing competition where people strive for power as if power was a
commodity that was limited in supply. If I empower
someone else, I may lose some of my own power. Power is not limited in supply; we shouldn’t
fear a loss of power.
As, we observe the culture, we find that typical relationships
are characterized by people using power to control, coerce, or manipulate
others. Typical relationships use power
in a very self-centered way.
Radical relationships, on the other hand, are
characterized by people using power to empower others. Empowerment is others oriented, not
self-centered. Empowerment is defined as
the attempt to establish power in others, helping others to become all they can be.
I haven’t seen one lately, but back in the day, there
was an ARMY commercial that culminated in this “song or chant” that went “Be…all that you can be…find a future in the ARMY.” This is empowerment. The ARMY commercial communicated to viewers
that if
you join the ARMY, we will empower you; we will help you to become all that you can be. It didn’t communicate “come join the ARMY so that
you can serve us” but rather, “Come join the ARMY and we will serve you, help
you, this will benefit you.” We
can learn from this ARMY commercial the valuable principle of empowerment. That should be our attitude towards
others. “Be
all that you can be in this relationship with me. I will serve you, help you, benefit you. In this relationship, I will encourage,
edify, equip and empower you.”
Empowerment helps others to recognize their potential
and to achieve it through encouragement and guidance. Empowerment never involves force, coercion,
control or manipulation, but it is a respectful and reciprocal process that is
mutually beneficial.
One example that comes to mind is a story you are all
probably familiar with to some degree. A
famous doctor once used his position of power to empower another. This doctor had amazing credentials, he had a
big name, was well respected by his peers.
In fact, this doctor’s name was pretty much a household name by the mid
90’s. This doctor came from the right
demographic, he had the right skin color; he had the right connections in order
to be successful in his field of practice.
One day, a young man who was trying to succeed in the same field came to
the doctor seeking his help, knowing that if the doctor could serve as his
mentor he had the right connections to get this young man’s foot in the
door. The problem was that this young
man did not have the right credentials; he didn’t have the right skin color to
succeed in his craft. The doctor could
have used his power to maintain his own more powerful position, but he
didn’t. The doctor empowered this young
man. This young man’s name was Marshall
Mathers, the protégé of Dr Dre, better known as Eminem. Dr Dre used his position of power to empower
this crazy white boy.
While this serves as a great example of empowerment, we
have the ultimate example of empowerment in the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus rejected the use of power to control
others but used power to serve others, lift up the fallen, forgive the guilty, strengthen
the weak, to enable the unable. He
empowered the marginalized. His ministry furthered by the disciples sought to
empower the orphans, the widows, and the poor.
He came to empower fishermen, sinners, tax collectors, adulteresses.
Early in His ministry he appointed apostles and gave
them authority, he empowered them, by giving them power to heal the sick, drive
out demons, perform miracles, raise the dead.
In John
10:10, he says that he came, not like
the theif who steals, kills and destroys, but to grant abundant life, to
empower people to truly live. After his
resurrection, he came to the disciples and told them that he would send them
the Holy spirit through whom they would receive power (Acts 1:8). Jesus came to empower.
Turn with me in your Bibles to Mark 10:35ff.
35 Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. “Teacher,”
they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”
36 “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.
37 They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at
your left in your glory.”
James
and John sought a position of power.
They wanted to sit in that position of authority at the side of
Jesus. They had the mentality of the
world. But look at how Jesus flips this
upside down.
38 “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink
the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”
39 “We can,” they answered.
Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized
with the baptism I am baptized with, 40 but to sit at my right or
left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have
been prepared.”
41 When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and
John. 42 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those
who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high
officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead,
whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and
whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son
of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a
ransom for many.”
In the world around you, people lord their positions of
power over people and exercise their power with force and coercion in order to
control people. They use their power in
order to maintain their own position of power.
They seek to be served. Not so
with you. You have a position of
power as my chosen ones. Use your
position of power not to be served but to serve. Use your power to encourage, equip, edify, to
empower.
Towards the end of Jesus’ ministry, he drives this
point home through his actions. Turn
with me to
John 13
1 It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had
come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who
were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.
2 The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already
prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all
things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to
God; (he
was fully aware of his position of power.
Look at how he uses his power) 4 so
he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel
around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and
began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped
around him.
6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to
wash my feet?” (only
if you don’t deny me 3x…no: Jesus’ relationship with them was based on
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and grace and in this act, empowerment!!!)
7 Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later
you will understand.”
8 “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
9 “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands
and my head as well!”
10 Jesus answered, “A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his
feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.”
11 For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said
not every one was clean.
12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and
returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked
them. 13 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am . (he didn’t deny his
position of power, but look how he used it – to empower) 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet,
you also should wash one another’s feet.
15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for
you. 16 I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his
master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now
that you know these things, you will be
blessed if you do them.
Jesus
didn’t say “I am the most powerful person on the planet. Serve me!
Wash my feet.” Rather,
knowing that he was the most powerful person on the planet, secure in his
position of power, he lowered himself, posturing himself in the position of the
lowest servant and washed the feet of his disciples. Then he told them, “You
should do as I have done for you.”
He
wasn’t telling them to literally wash one another’s feet, but to posture
themselves as servants, serving others, not using their positions of power to
be served but to serve – to empower others.
He
said no servant
is greater than his master.
In other words, by washing your feet, I haven’t lost any of my power and
haven’t become any less than you.
Therefore, you don’t have to fear that by serving others you will in
some way lose power as if power was a commodity limited in supply. Your position of authority as apostles is
fixed. But use your power to serve
others, to empower.
Paul
puts it this way in his letter to the Philippians.
Phil 2 1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant
This encouragement is for us as well. There is nothing in the text to make this
precept bound by time or culture.
Believers then and now, believers in Philippi and Georgetown should have
the same attitude as Jesus, who was in very nature God, but used His power to
empower. He made Himself nothing, taking the form of a
servant. So also, we should
serve others, empower others. We should do nothing
out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better
than ourselves, looking not only to our interests but to the interests of
others, empowering them.
Serving others seems to be the primary means of
empowering in the Scriptures as displayed by Jesus. Another means of empowering others is through
edification, encouragement and affirmation.
Our words are powerful.
Paul puts it this way in his letter to the Ephesians. Eph 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but
only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it
may benefit those who listen.
Our words can either tear others down or build them up. With our words, we can either communicate you CAN’T, or
you CAN. We can either
communicate let me tell you all that you can’t be or let me come alongside you and help
you become all that you can be. You were fearfully and wonderfully made and I
value you and who you are. Our words have
the power to empower.
We have looked at some broad precepts here. Rather than using power to maintain a position
of power, controlling others and seeking to be served, we should use our power
to empower others, to serve them, to edify, equip, encourage them. What does that look like in the real world?
A parent may have a four year old that walks through
the house singing all the time. But it’s
no Adele. It’s ear piercing, kind of
shreiky. A parent can use his power in
one of two ways. He can use his power
for selfish gain and he can shut it down because it is seen as a nuisance. Or…he can empower that child. I know first hand because that child lives in
my home. One day, I told that child, “what a
beautiful song.” I empowered that
child. She beamed with delight. She ran up with the biggest smile and gave me
the biggest hug and she said, “Daddy, I love you.”
I said that which allowed her to be all that
she can be.
The child that grows up in the home characterized by
the wielding of power for selfish gain is not likely to become the next
American Idol. It’s possible, but not
necessarily probable. It is more
probable, I would say, that a child who grows up in the home of empowerment to
be the next American Idol; she will at least be all
that she can be. Chances are that
if mom and dad wielded their power for selfish gain to shut the kid up, she
will continue to shut up and she will eventually shut down, losing self
confidence. She will never blossom into
the flower that she could be. She will
likely feel like she can’t share that part of her soul, she will feel a
distance from mom and dad rather than intimacy.
Chances are, one day mom and dad will ask “How was school?” and her
answer will be “good” and she will look out the window and offer no more.
That’s one example of how this stuff might look in real
life relationships. Another example is at
work when we have knowledge that can benefit others, we can equip them with
that by sharing it so that they can be all that
they can be, rather than keeping it to ourselves so that we can maintain
a position of power, being seen as superior.
Another example is in doing a dirty job. Jesus exemplified empowerment through serving
by doing a dirty job, one that was relegated to the household servant. A man may find himself in a position much
like Jesus. As the most powerful person
in the room, he can posture himself as a servant and do a dirty job. While men today don’t typically need to wash
feet caked with dirt from walking upon a dusty road, a man may have an
opportunity to change a dirty diaper. His
mentality might be “If I serve my spouse in this way, I will lose power. Right now I have the power, I have hand. I can simply hand off this task because I’m a
man and I don’t change diapers. If I
give into this by serving, I lose power.” But when he realizes that power is not
limited in supply and he seeks to serve others, he will be blessed in the very
act. Remember Jesus’ words: now that you know
these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
Another way to empower others is in our relationships
is through compliments. A spouse or
friend can withhold compliments in attempt to maintain power. If I don’t compliment them, they will work harder
for me. This is a wielding of
power for selfish gain. On the other
hand, one can compliment, edify, encourage and affirm another, which empowers
them to be all that they can be. Simple compliments, words of affirmation,
encouragement and edification, go a long way.
Noticing those little things, those day to day tasks and thanking one’s
spouse for doing them and complimenting a job well done is so empowering.
Finally, consider what would happen in a relationship
if we are willing to say, “I was wrong, you were right.” Talk about empowerment. In a relationship where individuals fear the
loss of power and seek to maintain a sense of power, an individual would never
dream of admitting he or she was wrong. I lose power if
I admit that. But when one
recognizes that power is not a limited commodity and that in a healthy dynamic
mature relationship we should use our power, our ability to influence others,
in a way that empowers others, we will willingly admit I was wrong, you were right.
In radical relationships, we don’t fear a loss of
power. We can grant power to our spouse,
we can empower him or her. We can live
in a way with our spouse that allows her to be all
that she can be and that means that she
can be right. And this leads to intimacy. In a relationship where disagreements are
always battles or arguments that someone is seeking to win, individuals shut
down and they can’t share all of them, all of their thoughts and ideas,
feelings and concerns. Because if they
disagree at some point, it’s another battle resulting in another loss and who
wants to lose? A loss will result in a
loss of power.
But if there is no struggle for power and the
relationship is characterized by empowerment, we can talk about anything; I can
share everything with this person, even the points on which we disagree…we can
be intimate with one another. And
intimacy is the ultimate goal. It is
that exclamation point that punctuates radical relationships.
In closing, in our relationships, we will have some
form of power, some ability to influence others. Rather than using our power to be served,
let’s serve. Rather than using our power
to control others, to coerce or manipulate others, rather than using our power
for our own selfish gain and in a way to maintain our more powerful position,
let’s use our power to instill power in others, to empower others, to help
others to be all that they can be.
According to Jesus it’s not about having hand, but
lending a hand.
www.ncfgeorgetown.com Church in Georgetown, Texas. Reformed church
Georgetown, Texas Preterist church Georgetown Texas. Pastor David Boone. Sermon
audio mp3 sermon download Full Preterism. Covenant Eschatology. New Covenant
Fellowship Georgetown. Page House 10:00 am Loving God. Loving Others. Realized
eschatology fulfilled eschatology
Preterist church Austin Texas.
Bible church Austin Texas Second coming of Jesus Christ churches in
Austin area. Churches in Georgetown TX
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