prayer: more relational than ritual

prayer: more relational than ritual

This morning we begin a series on prayer.  This, in my opinion is one of, if not the, most important topics of discussion for us as believers.  Prayer is at the very core of the Christian life, it is the heartbeat of the life of a disciple.

DIFFERENT IDEAS

I’d like to begin by defining prayer.  What is prayer?  If you asked that question in a room full of people you may get a very broad range of answers because so many people have so many different ideas of what exactly prayer is.  One might answer that prayer is what you do when you put a mat on the ground and kneel facing Mecca 5 times a day and recite words before Allah.  One might say it’s what you do before you eat and go to bed.  One might say it’s something you say when touching the beads of a necklace.  One might say it’s directed toward a saint or toward Mary.  One might say it’s directed toward Jehovah.  One might say it’s what you do when you really, really, want something.  Everybody has their own idea of what prayer is.  Whose idea is correct?  What exactly is prayer?  Let’s define it. 

DICTIONARY.COM

Dictionary.com actually does a nice job defining prayer. 

1.       Devout petition to God or an object of worship

2.       Spiritual communion with God or an object of worship, as in supplication, thanksgiving, adoration, or confession.

For simplicity’s sake, I’m going to combine this into one phrase: conversation with God.  Prayer is simply conversation with God.

That definition alone will guide much of our exploration of prayer.  Notice I said exploration.  While I think there are certain ideas and doctrines that we can nail down and pinpoint and define comprehensively, I believe prayer is mysterious.  The concept of prayer is one that raises a lot of philosophical questions that may not have absolute answers.  For example:

·         The Bible says “ask and you shall receive.”  So…do we pray with bold confidence asking with faith?

·         The Bible also displays Jesus praying, “not my will but yours be done.”  Isn’t he our model?  Should we just pray that?  Shouldn’t we just pray that his will to be done?

·         Which is it?  Boldly asking God for what we desire or humbly asking that God’s will be done?

·         When we hear about those who are ill, or suffering, or hurting..... What should we pray? How should we pray? Should we beg for their healing, or pray that if His will is for them to experience that pain that it can glorify Him? And then, if they are experiencing it...Isn't it, ultimately, his will. And if so, how do we explain that to those who are experiencing that pain???

·         If we ask for their healing is that an exercise of great faith?  But what if God doesn’t heal them?  Did we not have enough faith?

·         But if we just ask for His will to be done instead, is that a display of a lack of faith, that we think less of God, like maybe he can’t do this?

·         Isn’t God sovereign who determines the end from the beginning?  Has he not foreordained all things?

·         Why pray, if his will is already determined if His mind is already made up?

·         Can we change God’s mind?  If so, does that mean that God is a fickle God who can be persuaded by humans?  If so, what kind of God is that and if not, does that mean that we shouldn’t bother asking because he won’t change his mind anyway?

These are some deep questions.  But those who seriously ponder the practice of prayer will probably ask those very questions or similar questions.  We don’t know the answer to all of these kinds of questions but we will do our best to explore them, seeking Biblical answers.  Some answers may not be found in the Bible so some answers may come from practical wisdom, logic or reason.  Some of these questions may not have answers on this side of heaven.

From the beginning, let’s admit together the nature of prayer: it’s mysterious.  There is much to it that we may not be able to fully know. And not knowing and not having answers won’t stop us from asking the questions and pursuing answers.  But we won’t let what we don’t know rob us of what we do know.  What we do know is that prayer is conversation with God.  All of our pondering and pursuit of truth will be filtered through that understanding. 

This series will be one in which we explore the mystery of prayer together and arrive at some suggestions for making the most of our conversations with God.

This morning, we will draw out suggestion #1 prayer should be more relational than ritual.

Ritual: an established or prescribed procedure for a religious or other rite. 

By definition, a ritual is something that is established.  Established means it already exists.  For example the city of Georgetown Texas was established in 1848.  Georgetown exists already, it’s established.  It has been established since 1848.  This city did not originate with us.  We are part of a city that was established by others already. 

So a ritual is an established procedure for a religious rite.  That means that it already exists, it didn’t originate with us.  So in the context of prayer, a ritualistic prayer would be a prayer that already exists, one that didn’t originate with us.

Ritual, again, is an established or prescribed procedure for a religious or other rite.  So in the context of prayer that would mean a prayer that has been pre-scribed (that means already written).

A prayer that is ritual would be an already existing pre-written prayer, one that didn’t originate with us.

In the Christian world, there are prescribed prayers.  Most of us are aware of some of them. 

·         God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

·         Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take.

·         God is great, God is good.  Let us thank Him for our food.  By his hands we all are fed, give us Lord our daily bread.

Those of you familiar with the following prayer, join me (this is crowd participation).

Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.  Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.  For thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever and ever.  Amen.

Was that a prayer?  Sure, we spoke to God.  But, how relational was it?  I would say that such a prayer falls primarily into the category of ritual.  It existed already, it was prescribed; it was already written.  We were simply reciting it.  Is there anything wrong with praying that prayer?  Absolutely not.  Why, then am I encouraging that prayer be more relational than ritual?  Ritual is something that you can do without necessarily thinking about it.  You all were probably able to recite that prayer without even thinking about it.

But I want you to think about it.  What exactly did you say and why?  How often do you use the words “thy, thine, hallowed, and trespass?” and what do those words even mean?  What does hallowed mean?  And besides knowing what the words themselves mean, did you mean them?  And if prayer is conversation with God why would we say things to God if we don’t know what they mean?  And if prayer is conversation with God, shouldn’t we say what we mean and mean what we say? 

I’m not asking these questions to make you feel bad or to condemn you.  I’m asking these questions to help you realize that those are good questions to ask; you have probably asked them yourself and may have felt bad for asking or even thinking them.  But you shouldn’t feel bad for asking them; they are appropriate questions. 

Prayer is conversation with God.  How often do we use words in conversation when we don’t know what they mean?  When we do, does that make for a healthy conversation?  Don’t we usually use words in conversation that we know?  Shouldn’t prayer, then, consist of words we know and mean?

And more importantly words from the heart?  Words that are established or prescribed for prayer (already written) don’t originate in our hearts.  We may recite them and even mean them to a degree, but, if they didn’t originate with us, chances are that they may not be as heartfelt or as genuine.

ILLUSTRATION

Imagine if you were a young, attractive individual (not hard for most of you beautiful people).  Now imagine that someone of the opposite sex wanted to be in a relationship with you.  They think you’re amazing.  So they visited a relationship expert, let’s call him Hitch.  Hitch teaches him not to do the water sprinkler but to stay in this zone right here.  He gave them note cards with prescribed words with which to woo you in conversation.  So this person asks you on a date and you go to dinner.  At dinner, you notice that he keeps looking down into his lap and that the words he is saying sound prescribed, they don’t sound original, they don’t sound like his words.  They’re good words, but not the kinds of words or phrases he would say.  He doesn’t sound natural, genuine, authentic.  Eventually you realize that he or she is reading words off of note cards.  How would you feel? 

Would you rather them speak the prescribed words on the cards or speak their own words from their heart?  Those words would pass for a conversation and they may mean them, but I would venture to say that you would rather them speak their own words that originated in their mind, in their heart, using their own vernacular, speaking with words that he would normally use? The same is true with prayer.  Prayer is conversation with God.  We can pray words that have been established and prescribed by others, but how much more meaningful would our own words be before God?

When prayer is reduced to ritual, we can simply be reciting words without thinking about it or even meaning it.  It loses some of its relational qualities.

Prayer should be more relational than ritual.  I’ve explained what is meant by ritual, but what is meant by relational?

Since prayer is conversation with God, it implies a relationship, it has a relational dimension.  I’ve heard a lot of people say that Christianity is not a religion; it’s a relationship.  I understand people’s intention in making that statement; they want to stress the relational aspect of walking with Christ.  However to say that Christianity is NOT a religion, BUT a relationship is to create a false dichotomy as if the two were mutually exclusive.  In other words, they imply that Christianity can only be EITHER a religion OR a relationship.  But I say it’s both.  Christianity is BOTH religion AND relationship. 

The definition of religion is a set of beliefs.  Is not Christianity a set of beliefs?  Do we not believe the Bible to be the truth?  Do we not believe that there is one true God whose name is Jehovah, the creator of all things?  Do we not believe that He sent His son Jesus who died on the cross to make atonement for sins?  Do we not believe that Jesus is the way the truth and the life and that nobody comes to the Father except through Him?  These are just a few of the things we believe.  We have beliefs.  Christianity is a set of beliefs.  It is a religion.  But, it’s more than a religion.  It’s more than a set of beliefs.  Part of our set of beliefs is that because of Jesus’ atoning work we have been reconciled to God and we have a relationship with Him.

There is a relational aspect of our religion.  Relationships are nurtured through conversation.  Our relationship with God is nurtured through conversation with Him: prayer.

So while we can pray things that have been established or prescribed, our relationship with God will be best nurtured through heartfelt conversations with Him.  So I suggest that prayer should be relational, not simply ritual.  Prayer shouldn’t simply be something we mindlessly recite before meals, worship service and bedtime.  Prayer should be relational conversation with the living God.

Once again, let me reiterate the tone of this message.  This is not a listing of the rules of prayer.  This is not me telling you how you have to pray.  This is simply a set of SUGGESTIONS for making the most of your conversations with God.  Our suggestion this morning is to make prayer more relational than ritual.  Part of that suggestion is that the language we use in prayer should be natural.  What I mean by that is if you don’t use words like thee, thou and thine in everyday conversation, it may be a good idea to not use them in conversation with God. 

Will there be certain words we use only with God?  Absolutely.  There are certain words I only say with Breann.  But what I’m getting at here is the overall flow of conversation.  There shouldn’t be a complete transformation of your vocabulary the moment you begin to pray.  For example, the word propitiation is a part of my vocabulary.  I don’t use it regularly in conversation, but I would.  Propitiation is a word that I might use in prayer that I don’t use in ordinary conversation, but it isn’t a word that is otherwise foreign to me.  I don’t say, that’s a big word, it’ll sound good in my prayer.

Prayer shouldn’t be language to impress other people and it certainly shouldn’t be language to try to impress Him.  I mean really.  What can you say to impress Jehovah?

In short, keep it real.  Be authentic.  Don’t use big flowery words that you don’t normally use, just because you’re in prayer mode.

Prayer is simply conversation with God, right?  But you wouldn’t think so.  We do interesting things when we have conversations with God.  Consider the prayers of the just.  Sometimes when we pray, we use the word JUST in every sentence.  Do we do that in other conversations?  Imagine me having the following conversation with Breann.  Bre, I just want us to just have a great evening tonight and my sweet love, lover, I just want us to just eat dinner close to 5 and Bre, I just want us to just spend some time in the Word and Breann, my wife, I just want us to just get the kids to bed early so we can just have some quiet time together so we can just grow in our friendship and just be more connected.  Sometimes we just tend to say just just about every other just word and I don’t know why we do that, but it’s kind of weird when I think about it.  I’m not saying it’s wrong or that it’s bad, I’m just pointing it out because when I think about it, it really does seem to fall into the same category as thee, thine and thou. 

Don’t get me wrong.  If you want to pray in King James mode or if you want to pray the prayers of the just or if you want to do both, by all means, do them both, but my encouragement to you is this: make it genuine.  Make it real, make it heartfelt, make it relational, not ritual.

Finally, I also suggest a healthy recognition of who it is you speak to: the king of kings worthy of all admiration awe and respect and honor and praise…and at the same time, abba, father.  There should be a comfort level of speaking with the one closest to you – can’t get any closer to someone than IN them.  But there should also be an awareness of the fact that it is GOD you are speaking to and not your kid brother. 

So to sum it up, prayer is simply conversation with God.  Our prayers, our conversations with God should be more relational than ritual.  While praying prayers that are already established, already written by others, is okay, it’s not wrong, I believe that genuine prayers that originate within our own hearts will be the way to make the most of our conversations with God.  We wouldn’t want our spouse or friends to read words off of note cards in conversation with us, words not their own.  Let’s give God the same respect and speak to him, relationally, from the heart with words we know and mean www.ncfgeorgetown.com  Church in Georgetown, Texas. Reformed church Georgetown, Texas preterist church Georgetown Texas. Pastor David Boone. Full Preterism. Covenant Eschatology. New Covenant Fellowship Georgetown. Page House 10:00 am Loving God. Loving Others. Realized eschatology fulfilled eschatology  Preterist church Austin Texas.  Bible church Austin Texas Second coming of Jesus Christ

In our prayers let’s say what we mean and mean what we say, all the while recognizing who it is that we speak to: not only the one closest to us, ABBA, Father, but also the Almighty creator of all things, the ruler of heaven and earth, the king of kings, the Lord of Lords, Jehovah, himself.

Our sermon audio and video files can be found at www.ncfgeorgetown.com/media.html

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