Prayer should be reciprocal
Last week we started a sermon series on prayer. We defined prayer as: conversation with God. This series is not going to be us giving you the rules about prayer and telling you that you must pray in this way or that. This series will be exploring the mystery of prayer and making suggestions for making the most of our conversations with God.
RECAP SUGGESTION 1: more relational than ritual. Defined ritual as established or prescribed procedures. Ritual prayer would be simply reciting prayers that didn’t originate with you, but were already written, like the Serenity prayer or the Lord’s Prayer. Not that you can’t pray already existing prayers, but prayer is conversation with God and is most nourishing to our relationship when prayer is relational. In light of that, we discussed date when person reads off notecards. We would rather other person speak from the heart. Let’s give God same respect and speak from the heart, relationally. Christianity is not only a religion, but also a relationship.
This morning I’d like to propose a 2nd suggestion for making the most of your conversations with God. Prayer should be reciprocal.
Reciprocal means: given or felt by each toward the other, mutual. Given or performed in return.
So a RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIP would be one in which both people are concerned about giving, serving, loving, expressing. Not simply my day was like this, but also, how was your day? Not simply I want to eat McDonalds, but where do you want to eat? Not simply I would like to spend some of our extra money on this item, but how would you like to spend our extra money? Healthy relationships are not lopsided relationships, but reciprocal relationships. www.ncfgeorgetown.com Church in Georgetown, Texas. Reformed church Georgetown, Texas preterist church Georgetown Texas. Pastor David Boone. Full Preterism. Covenant Eschatology. New Covenant Fellowship Georgetown. Page House 10:00 am Loving God. Loving Others. Realized eschatology fulfilled eschatology Preterist church Austin Texas. Bible church Austin Texas Second coming of Jesus Christ
The conversations between people in a healthy relationship are reciprocal conversations.
PRAYER SHOULD BE RECIPROCAL.
Since prayer is conversation with God, we suggest that prayer should be reciprocal. By reciprocal prayer, I mean 2 things:
1. Who talks & who listens
2. Focus of discussion
The idea of reciprocal prayer first implies the idea the conversation is not lopsided. Let me illustrate this with a conversation between 2 humans. A reciprocal conversation between you and I won’t simply be me talking the whole time while you never get a word in. You probably know people like that. This won’t be a dialogue, but a monologue. I didn’t come here for a conversation with you, we came here for you to talk and me to listen. A reciprocal conversation carries the idea that I talk, then you talk and then I talk and then you talk. Both parties participate in the conversation.
How does that work with prayer? Now I’m just going to be honest here. Please don’t judge me for this or think less of me. But I’ve never heard the audible voice of God. I’ve listened for it; I’ve asked to hear it, but I never have heard it. We get the idea from the Bible that Adam heard it. We get the impression that Noah heard it, that Abraham heard it and Moses. But we don’t get the impression from the Scripture that everyone did or that it was a normal everyday occurrence. That seems to be something that happened to key people at key times, so I don’t think it’s something that we should expect to experience.
While I’ve never heard the audible voice of God, I have experienced what one might call the still small voice of God within. But, how do we KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that what we think might be the still small voice of God is indeed the still small voice of God? We admitted up front that the nature of prayer is mysterious. This element of prayer is indeed mysterious. So while I do think that in some sense God can communicate to us in gentle whispers, I am also very slow to say that God spoke to me. So my encouragement to you is this, I would be very careful and cautious with the temptation to say, “God told me…”
In attempting to make your conversations with God reciprocal, you may find yourself in one of 2 situations. Either waiting to hear the audible voice of God and probably never hearing it, or sensing what may be a gentle whisper or still small voice of God within and not knowing without a shadow of a doubt that it was the voice of God.
What we DO know as far as what God has said is in the Scriptures. If we want to know the heart and mind and character of God, we do have recorded for us the conversations that he had with Adam, with Noah, with Abraham and Moses. We do have recorded for us God’s words to the nation of Israel that He spoke through the prophets. We do have the words of Jesus, who is God in the flesh. As the writer of Hebrews says, “In the past, God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets and in various ways but in these last days he has spoken to us through his son.” So we have recorded for us many words that God has indeed spoken without a shadow of a doubt and by looking at these words in context we can learn a great deal about God, his heart, his character, his will. In a sense we can hear primarily from God by reading the Scriptures.
So in making our conversations with God reciprocal, it is important not only for us to speak, but for us to be attentive to what God has spoken. And while it is possible that God communicates to us in a still small voice within, that is a bit mysterious and difficult to know without a shadow of a doubt. But we do know without a shadow of a doubt that God has said what is recorded in the Bible.
So our prayers should be reciprocal first in the fact that it is not only us talking, but us being attentive to what God has said and the primary way we can do that is by reading our Bibles.
Furthermore, PRAYER SHOULD BE RECIPROCAL IN THE FOCUS OF DISCUSSION. It shouldn’t be lop-sided and self-centered. Prayer shouldn’t simply be God can you give me this. God can you do this for me? Our prayers shouldn’t be all about us. That isn’t healthy in conversations with other people. Nor is it healthy for conversations with God. Just as conversations with other humans should be reciprocal in focus, prayer should be reciprocal in focus.
Imagine with me a young lady named Madeline. She has a very loving daddy who gives Madeline everything she asks for. Madeline isn’t much for conversation with her daddy. Daddy wants conversation with Madeline. He craves it. But she says very little. At dinner time daddy asks where everyone wants to go. Madeline replies, “I want McDonalds, daddy. Can we go to McDonalds?” So daddy takes her to McDonalds and buys her a happy meal. During the meal daddy asks Madeline about her day, “it was fine.” Throughout the meal, he made countless attempts to engage her in conversation but couldn’t get more than a 3-word answer. At the end of the meal Madeline asks, “Daddy, can I have my toy now? I don’t like this one. Can I have that toy instead?” So daddy asks for a different toy for Madeline. After playing with the toy for a moment Madeline runs off to the playscape and plays with the other kids. When daddy says it’s time to go, Madeline says, “Daddy can we stay longer?” So they stay longer. After playing for another 15 minutes Madeline comes to her daddy and says, “Daddy, can I have ice cream.” Daddy buys Madeline ice cream. Not once did Madeline thank daddy. Not once did Madeline engage daddy in conversation for any other reason than to ask daddy for something.
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS – RECIPROCAL.
A lopsided prayer life will sound much like Madeline’s conversations. God will you do this for me. God can I have that. God I want this. Very one-sided, very self-centered. That makes for a very unhealthy relationship with people and it certainly makes for an unhealthy relationship with God. Healthy relationships on the other hand, are reciprocal. Conversations will focus not simply on the self, but also the other.
CATS AND DOGS
When I consider these 2 types of relationships, the lopsided and the reciprocal, I’m reminded of the difference between cats and dogs. Not always, but generally, cats and dogs approach their masters in 2 different manners. Cats typically seek the hands of their masters while dogs typically seek the face of their masters. Cats typically act as if the world revolves around them. The entire relationship is on their terms. Pet me the way I want to be pet. If I don’t like the way you’re doing it I’ll walk away, I may hiss before I walk away, I may even bite you. In fact, you’ll pet me when I want to be pet. When I want that I’ll come to you. Otherwise, don’t bug me. Do they run to greet you at the door when you walk in? Only if they’re hungry and want you to feed them. Dogs on the other hand understand that the world revolves around their master. Their relationship is on your terms. If you want to pet them they will let you. Dogs will let you pet them how you want and when you want. They are just glad to be getting attention from you because dogs want you, not just what you can give them. They want you. They love you. When you walk in the door, you can almost guarantee that the dog will greet you with kisses and a wagging tail, eager to please. Hey, it’s YOU! You’re back. I missed YOU. Dogs seek the face of their master, while cats seek the hands of their master.
Our relationship with God could be thought of much like this. He is our master. We can relate to God as a cat does its master and simply seek the hands of God, “God what can you give me? God, this relationship revolves around me and what I want.” Or we can relate to God as a dog does its master and seek the face of God, “God, its you. I want you. I want to please you. I’m glad to know you, I’m glad to see you. This is about YOU, not me.”
So often prayer is portrayed simply as asking God for things. While asking of God is certainly a component of prayer, it is not the only component of prayer. When asking of God is the only aspect of our prayer we reduce God down to a GENIE IN A LAMP. The story goes something like this: one finds a lamp and whenever he rubs the lamp a genie emerges and says your wish is my command. So the genie in a sense acts as the servant usually granting 3 wishes. We treat God much the same way with prayer. But since God is all powerful He can grant unlimited wishes, not just 3. We act as if our wish is his command. Is this a healthy attitude to have towards prayer? Is our wish His command? Do we command God? Is He our servant? He doesn’t exist to serve us as master, we exist to serve Him as master.
Understanding this reality will shape our prayer life, specifically our language before God in prayer. So many people today pray with language that sounds like they are commanding God to do certain things. I propose to you that such commanding language has no place in one’s requests before God.
Yesterday, my daughter wanted to drink some Gatorade so she said to me, “Open this.” So I said, “Your wish is my command.” NO. I said, is that how you ask daddy to do something? Let’s try again, “Daddy, will you please open this for me.” I’m just another human being, not God. But as father, the proper way for my child to address me is not with a command. How much less appropriate for us to address God with a command. How much more does God deserve to be approached with humble requests in the form of “Father, would you please…”
Some people use words in prayer that sound as if they were in the place of God. They will say things like, “I speak prosperity over this business.” Is that the proper language for prayer? Are we God? Is that what prayer is? Commanding the universe to obey us? Or are we humbly asking our master to grant our requests?
I’m not telling you that you can’t use certain language in prayer or telling you that it has to be framed in certain language, but I do propose that understanding who God is in this relationship will shape our language. He is the master in the relationship. We are the servant. Our conversations with God should reflect that reality.
Know what’s amazing??? Though God is our master and we exist to serve Him, He has served us much and has given much to us.
a. He gave us life
b. He gives us our daily bread, water, clothing and shelter
c. As if all that wasn’t enough, most of us in the room would agree that he has given us far beyond what we need and that he has actually given us a multitude of things we want!
d. As if that wasn’t enough, He has already GIVEN more than we could ever want, ask, need or even desire in giving us His Son.
e. That act alone is enough to make us say, “God has already given me more than I deserve in Jesus. What reason do I have to ask for anything beyond this???”
The amazing thing is that though He could have God didn’t ever say, “Look, I’ve given you my Son. I have wiped away your sins. Is that not enough? Stop asking me for things, you ungrateful people.” He never said that, in fact, He welcomes our requests. But as we make those welcome requests, let’s not do so with a self-centered attitude. Let’s not do so with the mentality that He owes us anything because He doesn’t. Let’s not do so as if we are the master in this relationship because He is. Let’s not make requests as if our wish is His command, because He doesn’t exist to serve us, but we exist to serve Him.
THE GIVING TREE
When I consider our relationship with God and the extent to which He has served us and given to us though we can never repay him I am reminded of a book I read probably 100 times when I was a child: The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.
Once, there was a tree…And she loved a little boy. And every day the boy would come and he would gather her leaves and make them into crowns and play king of the forest. He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches and eat apples and they would play hide-and-go-seek. And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade. And the boy loved the tree… very much…And the tree was happy.But time went by, and the boy grew older. And the tree was often alone. Then, one day, the boy came to the tree and the tree said: “Come, Boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy!” “I am too big to climb and play” said the boy. “I want to buy things and have fun. I want some money. Can you give me some money?” –”I’m sorry”, said the tree, “but I have no money. I have only leaves and apples. Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in city. Then you will have money and you’ll be happy.” And so the boy climbed up the tree and gathered her apples and carried them away.
And the tree was happy…
But the boy stayed away for a long time… and the tree was sad. And then one day the boy came back, and the tree shook with joy, and she said: –“Come, Boy come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy.” –“I am too busy to climb trees,” said the boy. “I want a house to keep me warm”, he said. “I and want a wife and I want children, and so I need a house. Can you give me a house?” –“I have no house”, said the tree. “The forest is my house”, said the tree. “But you may cut off my branches and build a house. Then you will be happy”. And so the boy cut off her branches and carried them away to build his house. And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time…And when he came back, the tree was so happy she could hardly speak.–“Come, Boy” she whispered, “Come and play”.–“I am too old and sad to play”, said the boy. “I want a boat that will take me away from here. Can you give me a boat?” –“Cut down my trunk and make a boat”, said the tree. “Then you can sail away… and be happy”. And so the boy cut down her trunk and made a boat and sailed away. And the tree was happy…But not really.
And after a long time the boy came back again. –“I am sorry, Boy”, said the tree, “but I have nothing left to give you – My apples are gone”. –”My teeth are too weak for apples”, said the boy. –”My branches are gone”, said the tree. “You cannot swing on them”. –”I am too old to swing on branches”, said the boy. –”My trunk is gone”, said the tree. “You cannot climb”. –”I am too tired to climb”, said the boy. –”I am sorry” sighed the tree. “I wish that I could give you something… but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump. I am sorry…”
–”I don’t need very much now”, said the boy. “Just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired”.
–”Well”, said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could, “well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down… sit down and rest”. And the boy did. And the tree was happy…
Notice that the boy asked of the tree and asked of the tree. The tree gave to the boy and gave to the boy and gave to the boy. Besides the continual self sacrificial giving on behalf of the tree, do you know what stands out to me in this story? I don’t remember the boy ever once saying, “Thank you.” The tree gave everything it could possibly give to the boy, ultimately sacrificing herself so that he could be happy. That boy should have fell upon that stump and sobbed and wept and thanked that tree continually for everything that tree gave. But he never did.
This story is essentially the gospel. God, is much like that giving tree. He has given to us and given to us and given to us. Ultimately he sacrificed Himself for us. And like that tree, God deserves much thanksgiving from us. So our prayers should be reciprocal. Our prayers should no longer be primarily request-making, but thanks-giving, a reciprocal response to that which God has graciously given.
In conclusion, our prayers should be reciprocal. They should not be one sided. We should not simply be interested in what we have to say, but what God has clearly said in His word and our part of the conversation should be deeply rooted in response to that. Furthermore, our focus in prayer should not be only about us only about what God can give us. In fact, if there is any lopsidedness in our conversations with God, they should be heavy in God’s favor. Our conversations with God should not be like Madeline’s self-centered conversations, but rather, they should be God-centered. Our attitude towards God should not be like the cat who is only concerned with the hands of its master, what its master can give to it and only on its terms. Our attitude towards God should be like that of a dog towards its master, seeking the face of its master, consumed with the person of the master. Our attitude in prayer should not be characteristic of one holding a genie’s lamp as if our wish was God’s command. We should recognize our role in this relationship. God is master, we are servant. It isn’t that our wish is God’s command, but his wish is our command. Finally, our attitude towards God in prayer should not be like that of the selfish boy towards the giving tree, the boy who never once thanked the tree for all it gave. If we recognize all that God has done and continues to do for us, let our prayer lives be the unwritten sequel to the giving tree in which we fall prostrate before the Giver showering Him with thanks-giving for all that He has selflessly given to us.
Let’s start that now. Adam, come on up and play for us while we spend the next few minutes in God-centered prayer, thanking Him for all that he has done and continues to do for us.
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